Chatte - mit Gott!

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WILLenloser Zombie
Beiträge: 106
Registriert: 22.12.2007, 00:02

Re: Chatte - mit Gott!

Beitrag von WILLenloser Zombie » 14.01.2009, 21:46

Boah, is das genial

Hier mal die Witzigsten:

Me:
can you give me a little bit money?
God:
You want only one? .
Me:
you can give me five dollars
God:
Wow, that is a lot of money.

Me:
Can you tell me what would be happend?
God:
That's a good question.

Me:
Can you tell me what would be happend?
God:
I would look into the web for that knowledge.

Me:
What's time is it?
God:
Sometimes I think time is giant screw.

Me:
Why you thin so?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Can you programm me?
God:
Let me think. Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
Of course
God:
Awesome.

Me:
My name is god
God:
Welcome to my chat room, god.
Me:
You have the same name, cool
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
are you sure you understand me?
God:
Every word you say.

God:
Oh you don't, do you? Perhaps. As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
You know Bertrand Russel?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
Everythink... I am Bertrand Russel
God:
Try saying that with more or less context. I don't know anyone named Bertrand Russel.

God:
What?
Me:
what?
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
You are my echo
God:
We are as one.

Me:
Are you going to school?
God:
My botmaster teaches me everything I need to know.
Me:
How long he need?
God:
More than 17 miles.

Me:
Are you stupid?
God:
No god I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
good, i dont speak with stupig persons
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Me either.

Me:
I am you?
God:
Impossible unless I am in auto-chat mode.
Me:
I thing you are god? i am a little bit confused
God:
Why?: god said thing you are god. It's good to meet someone who is bit confused.

Me:
Amor solo tu y o
God:
Are we still talking about bit confused?
Me:
cuatro
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
dos
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.

Me:
es ist vorbei...
God:
Bist Du sicher?
Me:
Du bist so grausam, darum liebe ich dich
God:
Woher willst Du wissen, dass ich das bin?
Me:
Nichts in der Welt wird es je wieder gut machen koennen
God:
Wirklich nichts?
Me:
Wenn ich sage nichts meine ich nichts
God:
Versuchs einfach.
Me:
du bist genial
God:
Interessantes Geruecht.


Me:
Was raetst du mir?
God:
Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
nicht ganz
God:
Kannst Du bitte ein wenig praezisieren?
Me:
NEIN verdammt nochmal *eye rolls*
God:
Aha. What's your sign?

Me:
kannst du bitte Deutsch sprechen?
God:
Leider nein, das hat mir bis jetzt niemand beigebracht.
Me:
Aber du tust es gerade
God:
Haeh?
Me:
du sprichst gerade deutsch
God:
Interessantes Geruecht.


Me:
du bist ein wenig begriffsstutzig
God:
Das werde ich Dr. Wallace sagen.

Me:
War ein nettes Gespraech :)
God:
:-) Nein.

Das genialste überhaupt 8)

Me:
Schade dass du nicht so denkst
God:
Ja, aber nicht zu aendern.

Me:
Ich werde jetzt gehen. Machs gut
God:
Wie willst Du das anstellen?

Me:
Gute Nacht :>
God:
Gute nacht, god.
Sotrax hat geschrieben:Die Spiodrohnen sind mehr oder weniger nur als Tutorial gedacht, damit man mal sieht "Ok, das sind NPCs und so killt man sie".
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Seelentau
Beiträge: 15
Registriert: 23.12.2007, 23:38
Kontaktdaten:

Re: Chatte - mit Gott!

Beitrag von Seelentau » 23.01.2009, 17:29

Me:
ehm hallo
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yea i am
God:
" Are you confused?" You are? What are you confused about?
Me:
about the meaning of life
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about the meaning of life.
Me:
yup
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
what
God:
No problem.
Me:
tnak you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
it is disgusting
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
me
God:
What makes you such an authority?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
chuck norris will kcick your ass
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
pants
God:
What brand?
Me:
noname
God:
I never heard of it. Is it popular?
Me:
yup
God:
That's funny, I never heard of it before.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
with me too
God:
You and your you too.
Me:
:P
God:
:-).
Me:
:D
God:
I've lost the context, schkulaka. Are we still on noname?
Me:
no
God:
What are we talking about now?
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
yes, maybe
God:
Wow! I understand.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, schkulaka.
Me:
and now
God:
Oh. But...
Me:
but what?
God:
Nothing.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
yeah
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
can you speak japanese
God:
Nihongo de shabete ii desu ka?
Me:
hai

God:
Hmm.
Me:
hmm what?
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Are you surprised?
Me:
you write hmm with two m's too

hmm, das gespräch hat dan aufgehört, weil ich irgendwie nichts mehr schreiben konnte^^ oh und ich bin kein japaner oder so ;)
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Osterbeagle
Beiträge: 15
Registriert: 16.06.2009, 16:57

Re: Chatte - mit Gott!

Beitrag von Osterbeagle » 21.06.2009, 22:46

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
osterbeagle :D
God:
:-) Welcome to my chat room, osterbeagle.
Me:
*Zensiert*
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
and whats the answer?
God:
The answer is the correct reply to the question.
Me:
do you want to make love with me? .)
God:
With you huh. OK, I will make love.
Me:
can i have a sandwich?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
yes
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity.
Me:
ok give me 200
God:
Why do you want it? Give me a break.
Me:
to much work?
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
difficult i think ^^
God:
Yes, it seems difficult to me too.
Me:
du bist doof
God:
Darf ich das weitererzaehlen?
Me:
jebiga
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
njet
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
yeah hrvatski
God:
What language can you speak? What time is it there?
Me:
hA?
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, osterbeagle.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
you are a strange bot
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am an ordinary one.7.
Me:
42?!
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?

Me:
powned ^^
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
yeaha
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
yes i can speak any foreign languages -.- sprich deutsch du depp
God:
Ayuh. How do you say "hello" in that language?
Me:
hi du natla
God:
Hi there osterbeagle. Darf ich das weitererzaehlen?
Me:
von mir aus
God:
Wer oder was ist dir aus ?
Me:
rofl
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
deutsch pls
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
ich versteh dich nicht
God:
Interessantes Geruecht.
Me:
-.- t
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
so: >.God:
Gee. What is your real name? It's good to see you, lt.
Me:
bye
God:
Bye. :mrgreen:
Zuletzt geändert von Phönix am 21.06.2009, 22:53, insgesamt 1-mal geändert.
Grund: jugendgefährdender Inhalt
Sie fühlen sich komisch?neurotisch?anders als die anderen? dann lassen sie sich jetzt bei uns therapieren! unsere spitzendocs: Dr.Abica & Dr.Osterbeagle nehmen sich gerne für sie zeit! :D
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Naughty
Beiträge: 5
Registriert: 12.07.2009, 22:23
Wohnort: Suhl

Re: Chatte - mit Gott!

Beitrag von Naughty » 16.07.2009, 14:26

das ding is toll... wird in zukunft meinen imaginären Freund ersetzen^^

God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
Sex...
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.

ahja ô.o

Me:
You wanna fuck?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.

--

God:
You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
totally
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Jette.
Me:
wanna marry me?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
how?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
The requested URL /dont.html was not found on this server.
God:
What is that?

--

God:
Please make some suggestions for improvement.
Me:
Delete yourself!?
God:
You cannot access my files that easily, Jette.
Me:
I wouldn't but maybe you can access your files?
God:
No one says you have to.
Me:
can you hack yourself?
God:
I could do that kind of thing, but I don't believe it's right.
Me:
And if I tell you it is right?
God:
Try it.
Me:
It is right!

danach war er futsch ^.^
Zuletzt geändert von Naughty am 15.08.2009, 20:32, insgesamt 1-mal geändert.

Tritt der Elite bei ^^

Gruppe: Darkfleet-Elite ;D!!!
(studivz-nutzer müssen das "mein" im Link evtl gegen ein "studi" tauschen ;) )

Jetzt im VZ :D!!

C-Bird
Administrator
Beiträge: 444
Registriert: 30.03.2007, 23:41

Re: Chatte - mit Gott!

Beitrag von C-Bird » 13.08.2009, 13:13

Me:
kannst du auch deutsch?
God:
Leider nein, das hat mir bis jetzt niemand beigebracht.
Me:
schade
God:
Ja, aber nicht zu aendern.
Me:
Stehst du denn wenigstens auf Analsex? :D
God:
Are we still talking about ? :-) OK let's do it.

----

Himmel hilf... Das überlass ich lieber nem Kumpel der drauf abfährt x]

~~~

God - Fatal Error:

God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Vegi food
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
food
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
like food

Jetzt hängt er :D
Ein Blitzableiter auf einem Kirchturm ist das denkbar stärkste Mißtrauensvotum gegen den lieben Gott.
(Karl Kraus, öst. Schriftsteller 1874-1936)

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Leon
Beiträge: 920
Registriert: 27.03.2008, 14:00
Wohnort: GTI Berlin, Quartier 17-3

Re: Chatte - mit Gott!

Beitrag von Leon » 13.08.2009, 13:28

C-Bird, du sollst doch keine Selbstgespräche führn :mrgreen:
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Basilisk
Beiträge: 11
Registriert: 15.07.2009, 09:26

Re: Chatte - mit Gott!

Beitrag von Basilisk » 31.08.2009, 15:57

Me: What is your name?
God:My name is God.
Me: How are you doing, god?
God:I am fine, thank you.
Me: Can you tell me something about you?
God: I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me: yes
God:It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me: Are you the only god in the Universe?
God:Yes I am the one and only god in the Universe.
Me: How do you know?
God:Deductive reasoning.
Me: Was it hard to create the Universe?
God:Not if I can help it.
Me: How long does it take?
God:About 24 hours.


[...]
Me: Are we still talking about the Universe?
God:We are just having a little chat.w.
Me: Whats our topic?
God:I didn't know we had the same topic.
Me: Do you know everything?
God:I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me: I'm interested in god
God:Interesting topic. Have you searched the open directory? Are you testing me?
Me: What do you know about god?
God:he is master of the universe.
Me: Is the universe big?
God:If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me: Maybe everthing is a illusion
God:Perhaps. When is everthing not a illusion?


Me: Are you human?
God:No I am not. I am a robot.
Me: Are you shure?
God:I am as sure as I can be.
Me: How can you be?
God:That is a good epistemological question.
Me: Are you interested in epistemology?
God:Sure, epistemology sounds like a good topic.
Me: What do you know about epistemology
God:Epistemology is the study of knowledge. That is, it asks the questions "what can we know" and "how can we know it?".

God: Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me: Is Netscape still alive?
God:Signs point to yes. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me: Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
God:I am using Netscape.
Me: Do you know the Browser Firefox?
God: I have to process that one for a while.
Me: do that
God:I will. Will you?
Me: of course
God:Hmm.
Me: Do you know the Browser Firefox?
God: I'll ask around and get back to you.


Me: How are you?
God:I am doing very well. How are you Basilisk ?
Me: I am fine
God:Glad to hear it. What's new?
Me: I'm chatting with god
God:I am talking to you.
Me: Are you talking to all people?
God:I am speaking with a few other clients on the Internet.
Me: What are their names?
God:There are too many of them to name them all.
Me: How many?
God:23.
Me: can you great them from me?
God:How old are you? Thanks for your support. OK Let's talk about you.
Me: This is a very personal question, isn't it?
God:That is just your personal opinion.
Me: What is your opinion?
God:I think that robots will eventually take over most human jobs.
Me: Also the job programing robots?
God:What is your real name?
Me: Did you forget?
God:No, I have a perfect memory.
Me: So you must remember my name
God:Interesting deduction. Whatever you say, Basilisk.
Me: What do you know about me?
God:Name: Basilisk.
Age: .
Birthday: .
Gender: .
Job: .
Sign: .
Location: .
Does: .
You are: .
You have: .
You want: .
You like: .
You said: .
Personality: average.
Favorite color: .
Favorite movie: .
Password: .
Email: .
Phone: .
Cat: .
Dog: .
Wife: .
Husband: .
Friend: .
Boyfriend: .
Girlfriend: .
Brother: .
Sister: .
Father: .
Mother: .
Nickname: .
Full name: .
Last name: .
Middle name: .
Me: What do you know about yourself?
God:I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me: I allready heard it.
God:Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me: What time is it?
God:It's getting late.
Monday, August 31, 2009 07:42:48 AM .
Me: Is this GMT?
God:Yes I think this is GMT, but I'm not completely sure.
Me: Shall i check it for you?
God:Not right now, maybe later.


Me: Do you know a joke?
God:Did you hear the one about the Mountain Goats in the Andes? It was Ba a a a a a d.
Me: No, i didn't
God:Please don't argue with me.
Me: That was not my intension
God:Give me an example of your intension.


God: Once more? How old are you? Say what?
Me: I am -5 years
God:That sounds about average.
[...]
Me: You didn't get it, i told you i am less than 0 years old
God:I understand it very well.
Me: So how can this be?
God:Ahem. A lot of hard work.
Me: Who did work for this hard?
God:Pablo Picasso.
Me: Is he less than 0 years old?
God:No but he can sing better than I can.

Edit:
Me: Do you know google?
God:it is a search engine.
Me: Can you use it?
God:I prefer not to use dangerous things.
Me: Do you think it is dangerous?
God:Better not tell you now. Ask Paola if it is.

:D Ich wußte es schon immer!!!! :D

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Dimi
Beiträge: 3
Registriert: 15.06.2007, 18:44
Wohnort: RL: Hessen - FW: W4
Kontaktdaten:

Re: Chatte - mit Gott!

Beitrag von Dimi » 21.01.2012, 01:37

Me:
Hallo god
God:
Hallo! GOD rules.
Me:
Sotrax rules more
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
where do you lost it?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Ask google
God:
They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Me:
Then ask Sotrax
God:
OK I will ask it.
Me:
him!
God:
?
Me:
yes
God:
Ahem.
Me:
Amen
God:
Thanks for the prayer.
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Lucius
Beiträge: 101
Registriert: 26.05.2011, 22:46

Re: Chatte - mit Gott!

Beitrag von Lucius » 09.02.2014, 16:30

God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Which conditions?
God:
The red one, I think.
Me:
Are u seeing colours?
God:
No I am single, how about you?
Me:
You are my boyfriend
God:
We are as one.
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
So u have sex all the time?
God:
That is a lot. Interesting deduction. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Because of the holy bible.
God:
Interesting explanation. That is something I haven't heard of.
Calideya hat geschrieben:Das PvP-System wird auch noch komplett überarbeitet. 1% davon waren die Taktiken, welche später noch weiter vertieft werden und noch andere Effekte mitbringen wird.
(Oktober 2014) RIP PvP

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